The Devil Invented Karaoke
by crazy novelist-san
Summary: Karaoke night sparks some odd confessions and leaves more then one person thinking that Karaoke is evil. Made because i fell in love with Katy Perry's music. Language and controversial issues inside. dun like? the back button's right there. Song fic
1. Ur So Gay

The Devil Invented Karaoke

Blame Katy Perry; actually, praise and worship Katy Perry, she sings the three songs that have been going through my head soo incessantly since I first heard them. First song: Ur So Gay by Katy Perry. Second song: I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry. Third song: Hot and Cold by Katy Perry.

Multiple pairings, Yaoi, Yuri, Het, Language, controversial lyrics, and karaoke. Be afraid, be very afraid.

It was only by a combination of sheer luck, bribery, and blackmail that the girls had set up "Karaoke Night" and had gotten their usual gang to attend. Naruto seemed enthusiastic about it at least but Sakura was worried about if the boy could actually sing.

Those few that were interested and brave enough were perusing the song book. Tenten dragged her finger down the list, having commandeered the book for several minutes, trying to find a song that would express her true feelings. Her eyebrow raised as she read off the title of a song she'd only heard a few times but seemed to fit quite well. She signed up and borrowed Ino's iPod and got better acquainted with the song. It was the first time she was thankful that Ino was addicted to iTunes. She grinned, the song was _perfect_! As her turn came up she took to the stage and waited for the words to begin.

_I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf  
While jacking off listening to Mozart  
You bitch and moan about LA  
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway  
You dont eat meat  
And drive electrical cars  
Youre so indie rock its almost an art  
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive _

She stared dead at Neji as she spoke, watching him squirm under her gaze, watching him hate her for singling him out so blatantly. She smirked; if he thought he hated her now she couldn't wait to get to the refrain she took a deep breath and pointed at him as she sang the words with all her heart.

_Youre so gay and you dont even like boys  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like boys  
Youre so gay and you dont even like boys  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like _

Tenten fought hard to not crack up on stage, but the incredulous look on Neji's face was priceless. Whatever happened to her because she sang this song she didn't care, that face had made everything worth it. Neji's face was of murder, he wanted to kill her wished he knew how to kill swiftly and efficiently with deadly accuracy. She thrived on it and sang louder, pouring herself into the song.

_Youre so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal  
Youre so skinny you should really Super Size the deal  
Secretly youre so amused  
That nobody understands you  
Im so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head  
Im so angry cause youd rather MySpace instead  
I cant believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than_

The truly sad part of this was that last verse was true, aside from Neji being too skinny, he wasn't, but he wasn't ripped either, Tenten was getting her revenge for how he'd brushed her off in the cafeteria in front of everyone. Rejected her feelings with not even so much as a proper rejection. His one note of gratitude was that the song wasn't actually calling him gay.

_Youre so gay and you dont even like boys  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like boys  
Youre so gay and you dont even like boys  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like_

_You walk around like youre oh so debonair  
You pull em down and theres really nothing there  
I wish you would just be real with me  
_  
Gaara raised a brow, "How would she know?" he asked, Neji grimaced, "She doesn't, it's the song Gaara." Gaara eyed him but watched Tenten as the song was thankfully coming to a close.

_Youre so gay and you dont even like boys  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like boys  
Youre so gay and you dont even like boys  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
Oh no no no no no no no  
Youre so gay and you dont even like boys  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like boys  
Youre so gay and you dont even like boys  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
No you dont even like  
PENIS!_

Sai smiled at a private joke and Naruto hit him in the shoulder. Gaara frowned at Neji, "What was that all about?" Neji sighed, "It's just a song. Tenten's just busting my chops."

"It better be, because from the way you give head I'd say you really like penis, and you're well endowed too." Gaara added, knowing that his Hyuuga was sensitive about these things.

"Not in public, love." Neji muttered. Gaara narrowed his eyes, "Don't call me love."

"Encore! Encore!" Kiba was shouting standing up and clapping hard, only to be caught by the back of his shirt and pulled back into his chair by Shino.

"Down boy." He said quietly, Kiba smirked, "Don't talk the talk if you don't want me to go at it here and now." Shino raised an eyebrow over his shades, despite the darkness of the room. "It's your penis they'll chop off if the girls catch you trying to do something like that."

Kiba sat back down again, hands in his lap, he liked his penis.

Sakura took a deep breath. She was next for the karaoke machine.

End Chapter 1

Three shot. That's it. Just fun. As crack-y as I'll go without my lil sis Mai-chan.

Next up is Sakura, and does she have a song to shake the ages!


	2. I Kissed a girl

**The Devil Invented Karaoke**

just because i forgot it in the previous chapter, i don't own the characters they belong to Kishimoto, and i don't own the song, it belongs to Katy Perry.

_I Kissed a Girl_

Sakura took a deep breath and shot a glance at Ino, then at Lee, her adorable, devoted boyfriend. The song started and she knew there was no more time to re-think this.

_This was never the way I planned  
Not my intention  
I got so brave, drink in hand  
Lost my discretion  
It's not what, I'm used to  
Just wanna try you on  
I'm curious for you  
Caught my attention_

Sakura winced as the refrain came up, this was fun but it was also hard. But she had to come clean about that night and she didn't know how else to just suck it up and tell him. Lee was such a good guy to tell him news that would take away his smile was nearly punishable by law. She smirked at the thought and took a deep breath and continued to sing.

_  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it  
_

She looked at Lee with a sorry little half smile as Ino sauntered on stage to duet, just for kicks. They started dancing together and some of the boys were cat calling them.

No, I don't even know your name  
It doesn't matter  
Your my experimental game  
Just human nature  
It's not what, good girls do  
Not how they should behave  
My head gets so confused  
Hard to obey

Sakura thought back to that night, she really had had one or two too many to drink, when the lights started blurring she should have stopped, when the floor started to move like the deck of a ship she should have stopped, but the music was too good and the alcohol was really good.

And Ino had looked so hot, Sakura wasn't gay and was barely bi but Ino had been hot. They'd started dancing together and went to sit together; Sakura was a little fuzzy on most of the details but they'd started making out. It had been clumsy but Sakura knew she'd liked it, she'd enjoyed it; mostly because she and Ino didn't stop making out for nearly anything until Sakura's head had cleared some. She was glad that Lee had trained her to hold her breath longer for longer kisses, it had come in handy.

_I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
_

_I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it_

In the pause between refrain and verse Sakura looked right at Lee. "Sweetie? One night at a drunken party Ino and I made out and it was really fun. It was nothing, but you should know anyway, and I'm sorry." She spoke quickly and missed two words that Ino didn't.

_Us girls we are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable  
Hard to resist so touchable  
Too good to deny it  
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent  
_

But the way Ino was smirking and dancing with Sakura wasn't entirely Innocent. Kankuro was tugging at his collar watching them. Kiba had started wolf whistling and Shino caught his arm and told the brunet, "Those girls aren't the only one that will remove you of your_self_ if you don't settle down." Kiba slouched down in his chair, why was everyone out to assure that he never reproduced?

_  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it_

Sakura grabbed Ino by the face and kissed her firmly but quickly, she turned to finish the song just in time.

_  
I liked it_

Lee was stunned, but began looking through the Karaoke book for "My Girl Gotta Girlfriend".

_end chapter 2_

Ahh, the language of music.


	3. Hot And Cold

**The Devil Invented Karaoke**

I don't feel like repeating myself. ON WITH THE STORY!

Naruto was practically jumping in his seat while he watched in some disturbed awe as Lee, no doubt a little tipsy started singing My Girl Got A Girlfriend by T. Pain with Sakura and Ino dancing on stage. He now understood completely why Hinata was taping this. He'd sat patient long enough and it was his turn at the mic now, and did he have a song to blow them all away. And if he was lucky he'd walk away from the experience.

He climbed onto the stage, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat, the screen started producing the lyrics of the song, though he didn't need them, as he started to sing by heart.

_You change your mind__  
like a girl changes clothes__  
Yeah you PMS  
like a bitch  
__I would know  
And you, over-think  
Always speak cryptically  
I should know  
that you're no good for me_

Naruto knew he was going to die and or get his dick chopped off and if Sasuke was really pissed he'd make him sleep on the couch for all eternity. And if he was ever forgiven maybe he'd have sex with him again. But he didn't care, the little prick needed to be told exactly how he acted and this song was GOLD for it.

_Cuz you're hot and you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and your done_

Okay, so that wasn't actually the ending word but he thought that the replacement made a lot more sense. Sasuke really was contradictory, volatile, and too quick with the sex. It really was, up, in, out and done. Naruto started gesturing with his hands to accent the lyrics he watched Sasuke seethe, fed off it, told himself that if he was going to die he was going to die sending the message of exactly what it's like to date Sasuke Uchiha in the process.

_You're wrong when it's right  
It's black and it's white  
We fight, we break up  
We kiss, we make out_

Again, not the way the verse ended but suited his purpose better. Naruto started to sing louder, really getting into it, trying not to crack up at the faces of his friends.

_(you) you don't really wanna stay, no  
(you) But you don't really wanna go-o  
_

_You're hot and you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and you're done_

_We used to be just like twins  
So in sync  
The same energy  
Now's a dead battery  
Used to laugh  
About nothing  
Now you're plain boring  
I should know  
that you're not gonna change_

The faces in the audience ranged from increduous to fighting hysterics, Naruto was really getting into his song, and when Sai walked up to the stage he held out a hand to help him up. Sai started to sing backup, adapting to Naruto's simplistic dancing easily as they shared the mic. It was like they planned it.

_Cuz you're hot and you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and your done_

_You're wrong when it's right  
It's black and it's white  
We fight, we break up  
We kiss, we make out_

The funny part of it was, that they _had _planned it. For emphasis on the kiss and make out part Sai and Naruto turned towards each other and got a little to close, half lidded eyes and near touching lips that Naruto knew Sasuke would take out on his hide for later, hopefully before during or after really long sex, just so Sasuke could prove he could do it.

_(you) you don't really wanna stay, no  
(you) But you don't really wanna go-o_

_You're hot and you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and you're done_

Naruto wasn't going to take Sasuke's bullshit, year-long male PMS laying down any longer. And Sai was tired of hearing Naruto bitch about his boyfriend, so the pale boy had helped the girls plan this karaoke night and played the song for Naruto, nudging him to consider singing it. As the music started up again Naruto pointed, literally pointed right at Sasuke as he spoke the next part, the music dying away to emphasize his words even more.

_Someone call the doctor  
Got a case of love bipolar  
Stuck on a roller coaster  
Can't get off this ride_

_You change your mind  
like a girl changes clothes...._

Sai snorted, it was so painfully true.

_Cuz you're hot and you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and your done_

_You're wrong when it's right  
It's black and it's white  
We fight, we break up  
We kiss, we make out_

The audience was cheering him on now, Sasuke was being held in his seat by Neji and Lee, and Naruto knew he was in for it, knew and sang harder, staring at Sasuke. That thick headed nimrod would get why he was doing this if it killed him.

_(you) you don't really wanna stay, no  
(you) But you don't really wanna go-o_

_You're hot and you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and you're done_

The way Sasuke looked, it really just might kill him.

_Cuz you're hot and you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and your done_

_You're wrong when it's right  
It's black and it's white  
We fight, we break up  
We kiss, we make out_

_(you) you don't really wanna stay, no  
(you) But you don't really wanna go-o_

Sasuke broke free and ran at the stage, Naruto bolted, and through his laughter, Sai finished the song.

_You're hot and you're cold  
You're yes then you're no  
You're in then you're out  
You're up and you're done_

Then everyone else left to watch or try and stop what promised to be a truly brutal fight between the two boys. Those of them that had no interest in seeing two boys practice homoeroticism ran for the karaoke machine after a while. Hinata stayed behind, still taping.

**End.**

Worship Katy Perry for the songs of epic-ness.

MAY also do Mannequin and One of the Boys also by Katy Perry. But only if reviews are good.


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